we could do it doggy style so we can both watch jeopardy
Anonymous

condommodel:

I hope your mother saw you send this message

ridge:

white boys be like 

inspiring:

VIRUS GOING AROUND!!!!! SIGNAL BOOST THE SHIT OUT OF THIS!!!!!

if you are on my blog and there’s a button that says “unfollow” in the upper-right corner, DO NOT CLICK IT! it will bring you to a FBI site that will trap your browser and even can access your webcam! it’s very serious and it’s important you do not click it

vinebox:

We all have that one awkward couple at school

nogdrinker:

*fucks up*

narwhal-noir:

I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”

maleteen:

chinese food is more important than 95% of the things in my life

jewbeard:

i got a job

jewbeard:

i got a job

eoop:

I was extremely kissable today and do you know how many kisses I received??? ZERO

zackisontumblr:

i want a bf with a select vocabulary which includes phrases like:

  • yes babe
  • you’re cute
  • of course i will bring you snacks
  • my dick is 3 feet long
  • you’re always right babe i’m sorry

unirony:

lebanesegirlswag:

unirony:

croptops r for anyone 2 wear n everyone 2 celebrate

Unless you have a muffin top.

here’s a to-do list for u

  • fix yr garbage ass blog
  • fix yr garbage ass attitude